wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize