the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Two words: nipple clamps
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