Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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