I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize