Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize