U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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