I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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