But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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