I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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