did you get engaged???
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
