im about as happy as oj after his trial
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
