Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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