drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
