2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
