There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You made out with two different species that night
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
