Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
