Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
