i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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