at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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