how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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