I hope mine doesn't look like that
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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