I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
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