I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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