If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize
