i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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