I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
