Texts From Last Night

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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk

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  (864): you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk http://tfl.nu/iikf
  Replies (10) Good night (4743) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"

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  (909): You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish" http://tfl.nu/4kon
  Replies (9) Good night (3595) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it

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  (334): I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it http://tfl.nu/u4cv
  Replies (14) Good night (4960) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.

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  (602): you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer. http://tfl.nu/7uxe
  Replies (16) Good night (6131) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.

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  (716): Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time. http://tfl.nu/ytyv
  Replies (79) Good night (7403) Bad night (1416)
• Favorite

  (+77): View more from

  her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'

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  (+77): her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like' http://tfl.nu/jkuk
  Replies (22) Good night (6933) Bad night (1473)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.

  (1-423): View more from Tennessee

  I honestly don't know what to make of that.

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  A ham sandwich would be nice.

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  (423): I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich. (1-423): I honestly don't know what to make of that. (423): A ham sandwich would be nice. http://tfl.nu/fg3s
  Replies (16) Good night (7719) Bad night (1158)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.

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  (714): He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where. http://tfl.nu/my2r
  Replies (17) Good night (1433) Bad night (6824)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.

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  (210): A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day. http://tfl.nu/06c7
  Replies (5) Good night (2743) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  ahaha ok

  (708): View more from Illinois

  let's call it "werewolfing"

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  (708): he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that. (1-708): ahaha ok (708): let's call it "werewolfing" http://tfl.nu/709l
  Replies (6) Good night (2788) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)

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  (206): Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :) http://tfl.nu/j8zz
  Replies (20) Good night (3892) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  That's the stuff legends are made of

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  (847): Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate? (412): That's the stuff legends are made of http://tfl.nu/wudz
  Replies (12) Good night (1281) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.

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  (304): Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened. http://tfl.nu/gr90
  Replies (8) Good night (2469) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries

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  (347): Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries http://tfl.nu/429z
  Replies (3) Good night (940) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not

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  (920): I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not http://tfl.nu/p3ul
  Replies (2) Good night (761) Bad night (223)

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