Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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