I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
