Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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