I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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