I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
