I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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