Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
