So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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