I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
