i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
