Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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