You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
sarcasm needs its own font
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize