just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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