Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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