She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
