I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize
