Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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