his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize