so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I will pee on everything he values.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
