Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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