im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
