You made me cry and you don't even care
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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