i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
