I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
