I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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