Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
not ubering you a puppy
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
