the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Well I just put wine in my tea
Go christen that room with your naked body.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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