remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
