No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
