what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize