I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
