Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
