it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
