just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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