he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
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I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
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Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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